Okay, so here goes, my first post proper. I’m aiming to cover the top 5 this week in the U.S and Australia (2 songs a day); next week will be any new songs in the top 5, and any overlap will be covered by other songs in the top 10-20.
WEEK BEGINNING 17TH JANUARY, 2011
Well, I’ve never heard of Wynter Gordon before, and my immediate issue is with her awful, awful name. Bad enough naming your child after a season but then also the intentional ‘different’ spelling which simply makes it look like your parents were either a) dyslexic or d) drunk/drugged, depending on which spouse was deciding the name. BUT WAIT! It’s apparently just her stage name; her birth name, in fact, happens to be Diana, which is pretty and reminds me of Diana Ross.
The first part of this song that becomes apparent is that Wynter (every time I type that, I cringe) actually does have quite a good voice. She has a nice falsetto. It reminds me a bit of Kelly Rowland, i.e Beyoncé Lite™. The beat starts with some handclaps – and I loves me some handclaps – and dives straight into the chorus, which is usually a solid gameplan for most good pop songs. It’s clear that this song plays into the overdone pop music zeitgeist of the day, as soon as she sings the words, “I am no angel.” Ah. I’m so glad we have another pop song about being a bit of a slut! We really just don’t have enough of those.
The music here is pretty much a pulsing European house song. It was written in collaboration with one Mike Caren, who is also responsible for T.I’s pretty awesome ‘Swagga Like Us’ and some Flo Rida song, so who really cares. Her voice has that aforementioned Beyoncé-esque R&B quality which allows it to snuggle in nicely between the two genres. I’m extremely skeptical of the content of the lyrics but really, this is not a song where the lyrics matter because 90% of the time people will be too busy drunkenly dancing to it that they won’t have presence of mind enough to scrutinise them.
I think the real stand-out lyric would have to be “cherry pop tag team/ can you make me scream”. “Cherry pop tag team”?! Ah, so the song is about gang-raping a virgin? I had a discussion not long ago with someone about the escalating raunchiness of pop songs and their videos. He expressed concern that at the rate we’re going, we’re going to reach some kind of what I call the ‘slutty event horizon’ where pop stars can no longer find ways to make them sound or look slutty enough, so the abandon the entire, pointless exercise of clothing themselves in garments or the vaguest of morality and simply only ever appear nude and make songs not unlike this masterpiece (you must be 18 or have a YouTube account registered as an 18 year old to watch).
Here’s a sample verse from the song:
Blindfold, feather bed,
tickle me, slippery,
G-spot, nasty pose,
in a video,
love machine, by myself,
climax, hot wax,
S&M on the floor, I like it hardcore
Did every pop producer/song-writer just suddenly start listening to Peaches and yell, “Wave of the future!” It’d be less problematic if it weren’t actually very passé. To be fair, Peaches knows to teeter dangerously on the edge of the slutty event horizon and she does it out of a desire to shock and offend rather than to pander to the current trend. And also, Peaches isn’t number one in the fucking country where every man, woman (and most worryingly) child can hear it.
I’m not usually one to ring the “PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN” bell, but this isn’t something that a child seeks out, it’s something that a 12-year-old girl can hear simply walking down the street or in her local shopping centre. It’s different from, say, all the messed up shit on the internet, because I refuse to believe it’s possible that a 12-year-old girl is going to randomly stumble upon a full stream of ‘Horny Young Sluts 18’, but it might be possible if she types ‘G-spot’ into Google.
But I digress. At it’s core, ‘Dirty Talk’ is an infectiously catchy song. Even the ludicrously overwrought “sexy” lyrics can’t stop my tapping my foot along with it. So all the more power to Wynter Gordon, I suppose, and the used Nicki Minaj outfit collection worn in her video. She’s lucky that a clubtacular song like this appeals to my inner homo.