Review: Rihanna – Cheers (Drink to That)

I’ve never made it a secret that I’m no fan of Rihanna’s. She’s just Caribbean Katy Perry, except with more abuse and probably less role-modelling, somehow. ‘Cheers (Drink to That)’ is her seventh (!) single from her last album, Loud, proving that the album is not dead, it has simply been reborn as a collection of songs that will all eventually be released as singles for the sake of shameless money-grabbing.

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Aus No. 1 This Week: Rihanna – S&M

Rihanna, my dear. You’re… I can’t…AUGH.

There are so many things I want to say to Rihanna. In my eyes, she has a lot to answer for. Yes, okay, she was the victim of domestic abuse. And no, she isn’t obligated to become the poster-victim for the whole thing. But I feel like she’s at least obligated not to have songs about how PAIN GETS HER PUSSY WET. It’s like a retroactive statement, “No, hey, guys, really! It’s okay! Yes, Chris Brown hit me and it was very wrong of him but TO BE FAIR, I immediately had multiple orgasms. Dude knows how to use a fist.”

Yes, I do know that it’s just a song and that singing about something doesn’t necessarily become you as a person, unless you’re a stalker like Sting. To be fair on Rihanna, there’s a fine line between enjoying S&M as a sexual practice consensually and being hit non-consensually. But it just feels like a terribly unfortunate coincidence, if nothing else.

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AUS No. 2 This Week: Enrique Iglesias – Tonight (I’m Fucking/Loving You)

The song:

Apologies for using DailyMotion which also has shitty ads. Here is a link to the YouTube video because record companies suck butt and refuse to let people watch their artist’s videos in any context other than on YouTube where they can get ad money: here

I feel I was fairly kind yesterday on the number ones both here and in America. You might call it a honeymoon period, I don’t know. Perhaps a period of mild tolerance, but (because I’m trying not to spoil it for myself) I didn’t check what the number twos were after I wrote about the number ones. And to be perfectly honest with you, ‘number two’ is a damn good way to describe these songs.

Enrique Iglesias is enjoying a career resurgence thanks to some incredibly artificial, manufactured pop and the fact that he’s sexy and Latin. It’s a far cry from his previous biggest hit, ‘Hero’, which was about love and being there for his woman in her time of need and also how sexy he is. There’s really a lot of arrogant machismo underscoring his biggest singles, and ‘Tonight’ is no exception.

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