Review: Chris Brown – Don’t Wake Me Up / Chris Brown is a piece of shit

It had to happen sometime. I haven’t done a review proper of Chris Brown because, well, talking about the guy depresses me a little too much. He’s the horrible gift that keeps on giving even though you’re screaming for it to stop, for the love of god, just go away. I’ve never been a fan of the guy, but that instance of domestic abuse – and all the petulant, bratty, abhorrent behaviour that has occurred since – is enough to make me, and a lot of people, never want to hear from him again.

And yet he sticks around somehow. The US listening audience seems to have fairly roundly rejected him, and yet he still manages relative success here in Australia (this song particularly). Funnily, this is the fourth single to be released from the album ‘Fortune’ and, fun fact, that album isn’t actually out for another couple of weeks. So basically, all of the singles thus far have flopped so hard that they’ve had to release almost a third of the album before it even comes out. The performance of this album seems to be mirroring that of his 2009 flop ‘Graffiti’ rather than his previous effort ‘F.A.M.E’, whose most successful single – Look At Me Now – had the underlying message of, “Fuck off, I’m famous and therefore unaccountable for my shitty actions.” and the fun kicker in the lyrics of Brown saying “you faggots”, paragon of tolerance that he is.

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Great pop songs you must have in your library

I talk so much about songs I dislike on this blog – mostly because tearing songs to shreds is far more fun, and funny – so I figured I’d dump some songs I do actually like here. Three songs this time around, all of which are catchy and fun and none of the bullshit club banger nonsense that eat away at the charts like necrotic parasites.

Lloyd – Dedication to my Ex (Miss That) ft. Andre 3000

Mega catchy, funky pop with Andre 3000 rapping? Yes please. Andre 3000 rapping as a cat in the video? Even better! To be fair this got to number 3 in Australia, but only 79 in the US – far lower than it deserved to be.

Well, yeah, it’s Beyoncé and it got to number 20 on the Billboard charts but really, it should’ve been number 1 for 8 weeks or something. Instead, we get saddled with this Gotye bullshit and Adele moping. Urgh.

Perhaps forgotten by some, Mya’s Case of the Ex was actually a number 2 hit on the Billboard, but it seems to have fallen by the wayside a little. Here’s my friendly reminder that slinky, bitter, independent-lady RnB songs are far, far better than Rihanna yelling over David Guetta’s musical farts.

Review: One Direction – What Makes You Beautiful

So it’s come to this: boy band revivalism.

Pretty much everything nowadays is about revivalism. Countless 80s films being remade, this mid-90s-esque obsession with club-oriented pop songs, everything Madonna did being copied by every pop star ad infinitum…the list goes on. Now, admittedly, the strength of this particular wave is not yet known. It’s been about 15 years since boy bands peaked, and 10 since they subsequently flamed out (obviously I’m speaking about the iteration of boy bands most relevant to pop music now, and therefore not including the early ‘boy bands’ such as The Beatles, The Monkees, The Jackson 5, etc.). Collectively, there are some fantastic pop songs between the likes of The Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, New Kids On The Block, Boyz II Men, and so on. But do we really need the trend to roll around again?

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