Review: Madonna – Give Me All Your Luvin’ (feat. M.I.A. and Nicki Minaj)

Madonna is back, everyone! This is a good thing. The pop music landscape needs a (stalwart other than Kylie Minogue) to whip these uppity little bitches into shape, and who better to do so than The Queen of Pop? Okay, well, who is more likely to do so? No one, really. As much as I would love for Bonnie Tyler to collaborate with Kanye and break back into the mainstream, I don’t see that happening any time soon (but seriously, has no rapper sampled Total Eclipse of the Heart yet?!).

No, I’m a Madge purist. Continue reading

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Feature: Measuring Lady Gaga’s true influence on pop

Katy Perry: from bland, to bland girl trying super hard to fit in and be cool.

Katy Perry: from bland, to bland girl trying super hard to fit in and be cool.

Contained herein are images of a Tumblr post that’s currently circulating with about 20,000 notes on it (warning: open that page and music will play). Here is my response:

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KATY PERRY’S HALL OF SHAME – Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)

There’s nothing much new or interesting in the charts at the moment, so I’m briefly breaking my promise to focus on male artists for a while to address the issue of Katy Perry, for the third time. Yes, she’s such a repeat offender, she’s getting her own damn category. A KATYgory, if you will!! Haha, we have fun here.

Look, I get her shtick. I think. Wait, no, I don’t, because it oscillates so wildly between all sorts of batshit extremes that it’s impossible to pin it down. The thing with pop stars is that they need a shtick: Lady Gaga and her wacky fashion and bizarre music videos, Britney Spears with her mild sluttiness, Ke$ha with her all-out sluttiness, Rihanna with her Caribbean sluttiness, Beyoncé with her strong independent black woman thing, Adele with her fat girl who got rejected thing. Katy Perry? Well, one minute, she’s the playful bubblegum pop lady in California Girls, the next, she’s the alien hooker in E.T. Is she silly and self-effacing or serious and a bit whacked out? Then you’ve got Firework which, well, the less said about it the better. So in which direction does Last Friday Night try and pull her?

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