Review: Maroon 5 – Payphone ft. Wiz Khalifa

Now, I don’t want to say that Maroon 5 is untalented, which is why I am writing it in this post. It seems less than coincidental that the bands only two hits from whatever their most recent album is called – I assume they released one despite the fact that why would you ever do that – have featured other artists. Basically what I am saying is that, on their own, they’re not really enough of a drawcard. Their comical blandness is hardly helping matters, but I guess comical blandness is what lands you the number 3 song in America and Australia.

Preliminary research suggests that the song likely would never have actually been a thing if it weren’t for frontman Adam Levine’s involvement with The Voice, which was basically a free ad for his shitty song to 10 million people every week. Who wouldn’t do the same thing? And I don’t begrudge the song’s popularity, really, because it’s hardly offensively omnipresent nor aggressively bad. It’s kinda like a fart, but just a silent and odourless one.

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Review: Maroon 5 – Moves Like Jagger (ft. Christina Aguilera, because why not?)

Presently sitting at number 2 on Billboard and ARIA charts (after previously hitting #1 on the Billboard), Moves Like Jagger is the quadrennial reminder that yes, Maroon 5 do exist. And they make music still! How cute! It also has Christina Aguilera in it, presumably a pairing borne of Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine and Christina Aguilera working together on US talent search The Voice. So naturally, after spending so much time searching for said Voice, Levine has returned his band to success after – IF NO ONE ELSE WILL SAY IT, I GUESS I’LL HAVE TO – a bit of a SLUMP, quite frankly. For shame, Maroon 5. For. Shame.

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